Paper Lady in a Red Dress

This is a very special memento from my old life as a professional vocalist in Darwin.

In 2001 and 2002 I was studying voice as part of a Bachelor of Music at the now Charles Darwin University (it was called the Northern Territory University back then). I was attempting to finish this extra degree for which I would get a lot of exemptions, the main challenge was completing the musical performance units which would take 3 years part-time.  The main reason I was doing this was because I had a highly desirable job at the Northern Territory Music School as a vocal and choir teacher, something that was coveted by other teachers and I was exceptionally lucky to have. So the pressure was on me to prove myself and that I deserved my place there.

It was during this time that I did some unpaid performance work, where prior to that I had always been paid. My voice lecturer was a wonderful lady called Kathy Banks, she was absolutely amazing and lovely. So of course, when she asked me if I was available for a Gilbert and Sullivan production she was directing I accepted! It was a showcase of excerpts from Gilbert and Sullivan musicals, I would play the part of Peep-bo, one of the three little maids in the Mikado excerpt. It was so much fun. I was glad I made it clear I didn't want the lead so I was able to enjoy it and lend comfort to the other performers, as many of them had not performed before a large audience before. This was held in the Darwin Entertainment Centre, and I'm not sure how big the audience was maybe several hundred or more. This paper lady in a red dress was given to me as a thank you gift, and it is such a special memento for me to cherish now I no longer do that kind of work.

Of course, I don't perform any more so this is a mere memory from my past. It's so very special for me that I still have this, after so much else I have lost. It is a memory of a fun event during a very hard time for me. I was in the process of leaving my husband, and by mid-2003 a colleague had committed suicide so my world pretty much fell apart from that point and I didn't finish the third year performance units.  I didn't show up for my mid third year exam as it was a week after that terrible event, then I pulled out of the rest of third year altogether and left Darwin for good 12 months later. At least I had successfully finished my end of second year exam with a very difficult 50 minute performance. It was opera and included pieces in Italian and German as well as English, it was the hardest performance I've ever done. I have never rehearsed so much for anything in my life, rehearsing once or twice every single day for over 2 months so ended up doing very well. I was determined not to make a fool of myself and just had to grit my teeth and do it, it was very hard. I did all this while I was secretly planning to leave my husband without him knowing as I was scared for my safety, rehearsing at home everyday while still living with him. No one I know now came to see my exam, my family was busy, and there is no video of it which is a real shame but at least I can remember it.

Looking back I can't believe how I possibly got through that time in my life as well as I did, despite it being one big mess. But special memories like Kathy Banks and these performances remind me I am probably stronger than I think I am! Thanks to Kathy and the kind people that I knew back then I someone how got through a terrible period of my life. <3 <3 <3